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Marriage Advice from Club Members

August 10, 2013

During the August 7 “Love and Marriage” program, Rotary Club of Santa Barbara Sunrise members reported how long they’ve been married and offered advice to three members who will each tie the knot in the coming two months. Here’s what the members had to say:

Brooke  (63) — “I’ve been just trying to behave.”
Burt (58) — Never go to bed angry. The two most important words are “Yes, dear.”
Claude (53) — Count your turkeys. (You had to be there.)
Don (48) — “Communication, communication, communication.” Also, 2 checkbooks, not 1.
Tom P. (43) — “The main advice I would have is separate offices.”
Gary (42) — “Advice for him: Open the door; listen, stop what you’re doing and listen; cook. Advice for her: Show up naked once in awhile.”
Gillian (32) — “My advice is humor. See humor in things.”
Ken (30) — Agrees with other advice.
Sandra O (34) — Separate checking accounts.
Pat (34) — “Take some time separate from each other every once in awhile.” She advocates for 3 checkbooks.
Mark (28) — Respect. Show each other respect.
Steve B (29) — The key is to breathe. Keep breathing.
Scott B (28) — “Worry about the big stuff, not the little stuff.”
Bill A (42) — “There is no answer to the question, ‘Does this outfit make me look fat?'”
Janet (20) — “When they do something that irritates you, and they will, bite your tongue.”
Connard (–) — Compromise is very important. For example, if you agree you want a pet, and you want s dog and she wants a cat, compromise: Get a cat.
Jody (20) — “Love and compassion is what built what you have now. Keep that.”
Steve K (28) — Accept that people are messy, and have separate spaces in the house.
E. Russell — Go on an international service project. If you have a single bed, lighten up about the fact that at 2 in the morning your blankets will be pulled from you.
Betsy (20) — Compromise, negotiate and don’t let your in-laws live with you at all. Ever.
Bill B (14) — Don’t fight when your kids are present.
Sandy Grasso (–) Always notice when the other person gets a haircut. Have separate bathrooms.
Joe W. (18) — Have things you like to do together and have things you like to do separately.
Tom H. (12) — Remember that the tough times pass, and good times start again. Don’t get bogged down by the blips of the hard times.
Joanne (8) — Hold hands.
Jacqueline (7) — Don’t forget to say thank you.
Mark R — Remember that the first 50 years of marriage are the hardest.

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